The long wait for the Fidelity ATM card

I just can’t catch a break with banks. I do like Fidelity don’t get me wrong. They are very warm and friendly, there is even someone who watches the front line staff to ensure that they are always smiling and doing the whole customer service thing. You can tell that they paid attention in training and they live whatever values are instilled in them. I also like the fact that I am not being charged unnecessarily every time I make a transaction. I never knew what Ecobank were charging for but all I know is that if there were a few cedis leftover in my account, it would be gone by the end of the month.

I also like the fact that the bank manager is accessible. He/She is not tucked away in the back where you have to book an appointment to see them. If you have an issue, you can just walk right in, and if you know me by now, you know that if I have an issue and I am not getting answers, I am going to go straight to the boss.

What I am finding exhausting however, is that where there is an issue, there is no sense of urgency in resolving it. There is a lot of “sorry Madam”, “we are working on it”, but no results. I can’t really blame this solely on the banks because ECG, MTN, Vodafone and all the many services in Ghana do same. Heck, I have even resigned myself to saying it when stocks are stuck in transit (like really what do you want me to do, jump on the high seas and pull the cargo over on my back).

When I opened my account I ordered an ATM card and a cashing book. I hate queuing for anything let alone my own money so was pretty pleased that it would take 2 weeks for it to arrive, just in time for pay day.
I opened the account in June/July, we are now in October, where is my card. Well I can tell you where it is not, in my possession.

When I opened the account, I got a very nice text message from a gentleman named Andy, he sent me my account details and told me I could come to collect my things. I got there, he gave me the cash book and then realised that the card had not arrived. So I asked him to follow up and give me a call when it arrives. I didn’t get a call that week and as I couldn’t get to the bank during the week had to wait until the following Saturday. I see Andy and I ask him what’s happening. He tells me that the machine has broken down, now I am very calm at this moment, the machine has broken down, there is nothing he can do, so I calmly asked him to follow up and let me know the status. He can’t fix the problem but at least he could keep me updated. I heard nothing for two weeks then it got to two months.

I went back to the bank again, I say that it has been two months and I still haven’t’ received my card. The machine had been broken for a couple of weeks, I understand there is a backlog, but if they are doing their jobs properly, the backlog should be 2 months or a month tops. Andy wasn’t around and so I ask the gentleman to call me back on Monday with the details. I hear nothing that week. I go back the following week to enquire (still calm) and asked why the gentleman did not call me. He said, because the card hadn’t arrived. So I asked him if in future he would kindly provide me feedback (I don’t think he heard me though).

On my last visit, still no card, I ask for the customer service hotline. I was given three digits which was supposed to be some sort of shortcode I think. So I took to the net and found the branch manager’s number. I then went into the bank the next day to speak to said bank manager. I found out that there was a broken machine, but somebody’s incompetence had meant that I wasn’t on the radar. However, after apologising profusely, and berating his staff for not bringing it to his attention, I was told that, they are working on it.

So now, I am waiting, now I am not expecting a daily report but considering the amount of time spent following up on this, you would think that someone would apply pressure. Or at least follow up and communicate. It seems though that the staff at Fidelity enjoy my weekly visits so they wait in eager anticipation for my arrival.
It has been 4 months, and I have been unbelievably calm about all this, but it’s been 4 months if I don’t get my card soon, this bitch is going to blow.

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Having Fun, Hanging Out

I was driving behind a long vehicle this morning which was travelling at a very slow pace, and think that the driver intentionally wanted to piss me off by driving to my destination. I wondered why there is a sticker on the back saying Long Vehicle when it is rather obvious that, that is what it is. Don’t worry, I am not going to write a blog about long vehicles however, nope today I am going to write about a recently rekindled love.

As you know I have been grappling with the idea of going back to the UK, although the cedi has appreciated somewhat against the dollar, the desired improvement in the cost of living remains the same, or even worse. The preceding months meant that cost of goods has almost doubled in price to recoup for the previous hike and well as Lisa Stansfield put it, the only way is up, so really we are not feeling the effects if anything it has probably getting worse. Even a ball of kenkey which used to be 50 pesewas is now 1 cedi, utility prices have also gone up even though we are receiving little service and although the gas prices have gone down, the unruly traffic means that we don’t really see the benefits.

I have however, had the fortunate pleasure of hitting town. Even in an economic crisis, Ghanaians know how to find enjoyment. Even those who live on less than $5 a day can seek to find gratification after a hard days graft. Ghanaians love to “chill” if they can, all week long only reserving Sundays for the Lord, and even that, it is probably only for a couple of hours, and then it is back to “chilling” in preparation for the week ahead.

So in the last few weeks, I have also “chilled” with the rest of them, most recently it was +233. This is a jazz club which is between Osu and Ridge behind the Alisa Hotel. They have a live band which plays local and international jazz as well as a few contemporary favourites. What I like about the band is that they play mainly with African instruments. There is no singing but the main man plays a wooden flute. Normally, the sound of the flute grates my ears but this guy has a knack of playing as if he is singing, you can practically hear the words.

The atmosphere is totally different from your usual clubs and pubs, probably because there is a more mature crowd, however don’t be surprised to see an 80 year old jamming to Paul Simons Call me Al. It is a beautiful place to sit, listening to cool music in the open air, “gate fee” is 10 cedis but it is worth the ticket.

If you are like me and like to club but know that the body is too old to be raving all night, there is also Chez Afrique in East Legon. The best night to go is on a Friday night and the band sings everything from Reggae, Pop and Hi Life, they can even do Chate Wale songs (hip-life/Ghanaian Danchall). It can get a little bit crowded as the dancing area is quite small but if you just want to sit and listen there is space outside to sit eat and chat. It is free to enter and you can dance until you drop.

For dinner, I have been frequenting Starbites also in East Legon close to the A&C, it is a Starbucks come fast food joint. I say fast food, but this is Ghana, so you can imagine, it is as fast as chef will allow. Cost of a plate is about 25 – 35 Ghana Cedis and the portions are extremely large. I don’t know why our restaurants don’t drop the portion size and the cost but maybe I eat too little. There is no kids menu, so if you have kids, one plate could probably last them breakfast, lunch and dinner the next day. A couple of weeks ago I was watching a little girl trying to get through a plate of fried rice and chicken, the chicken, two thigh and legs, I got tired just watching her, I think she was rather tired by the end too. Starbites is open 7 days a week and I believe they have entertainment on a Friday night. A nice place to hang out with friends.

There is also Eddy’s Pizza. The only reason I like their pizzas is that it is thin crust and not the bread like thick pan that you get everywhere else. The downside, you can easily fork out half your salary on just one pizza. For a family sized pizza you are looking at 55Ghs, but the place is always packed. As I said, Ghanaians like to chill.

So in the midst of the economic crisis, what can I say. Had I been in England I would have saved my money for three or four weeks of this, I have the option of having this every day so it can’t all be bad. So I think I will stick around for a while, even if I get to do something once a week or once a fortnight it is better than sticking it out in the cold for 11 months out of a year. So I would like to thank the one for restoring my faith in mankind, and reigniting my love for GH.

Until the next time.

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Romance Scams

I was listening to the radio and it talked of the dark side of social media. An American guy had been duped out of hundreds of thousands of dollars by a women he met online. The same old story, someone with no interest in this widower but to empty his bank account. The man got into so much debt sending money to his “love” only to find out that it was all a scam when he arranged for her to come from Ghana to visit him in the US and nobody turned up. His son found him a few days later dead on the couch, he was in so much debt, had begged borrowed and stole from this lady and saw no way out.
The curious in me has been trawling the internet reading stories. I remember a few years ago a friend of mine met a guy on match.com, he claimed to be a soldier out in Iraq, he sent pictures and everything, turned out to be a guy in a back water hole in Osu. Thankfully she didn’t get as far as sending him any money, his stories just wasn’t adding up and she switched him off. However, type in “romance scams, west Africa” and there are so many stories from both male and female, talking of how they met this person online, fell in love, then parted with all their worldly savings.
They say these people do “sakawa”, some kind of juju (voodoo) on these people and they fall in love with these tricksters, if I hadn’t lived in Ghana, I would have said it is not possible, but having lived here and heard other stories, it could be so. However, when you look at these stories, it is people who were already vulnerable, they were widowers, or people who had had their hearts broken, these guys gain their trust and build their confidence, they are so consumed with the idea of being in love that they don’t see straight. Whatever it is, it’s like the email spams that you find telling you a head of state has died and they want to send $1m to your account. If it seems too good to be true, it probably isn’t.
It made me think of Shakeesha, I really hope that this boy who found her on facebook and declared his undying love within seconds is really “the one” but chances are he isn’t. But I write this as another one of my public services.
The scams are two-fold are think, there are the ones who straight up want your cash and will make you fall in love with them without even having seen you by face, promise marriage and then leave you high and dry once they have bled you dry. Then there are those that use you as a green card lottery. Same method, may even go as far as spending out a bit of cash on you. Well of course, you are an investment, but they will recoup their money one way or the other, and then some. Either way, the outcome or the method are the same, you will end up being worse off than before he/she came into your life, plus you will be alone.
On the American Embassy website they warn of these tricksters and give you information to be aware of when you meet a guy online, the most important message they say is not to send out any money. I also found another article which gives a more detailed analysis and advises on what to look out for. I will share it with you out there, with an added caveat to those of us with foreign papers. They are not just online and can sniff foreign blood like a blood hound, so if you find yourself in a situation that may seems fishy, ask yourself the following:
1. Does he or she ask you for help pretty early on in the relationship? We all need a little help from time to time and us girls are pretty high maintenance, but really why do you need the latest iPhone when the one you have does the necessary. Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram etc.. Especially guys and being an African man, they pride themselves on looking after their women so he has no business asking you to invest in any business venture especially when he barely knows your last name.

2. Did he/she tell you he loves you and try to rush you into marriage? I know Ghanaians like to use the L word like a greeting but honestly, love at first sight is for the movies. It’s pure unadulterated lust, the person could be a serial killer for all you know, love comes with time, after your first argument or a year down the line when you fall on hard times, that’s when you will really know if this person really loves you. You certainly don’t need to be getting married after a couple of phone calls and one visit to Ghana. You don’t need to be even contemplating it a week after your first date. In addition, these guys will not want a church wedding, always at the courthouse with a “blessing” later. Why, because it is easier to get divorced that’s why. If you do really feel that you love this person, take time to think about it, and watch his reaction, does he make you feel guilty for wanting that time?

3. Has he introduced you to his friends or family? If the answer is yes, don’t go breathing a sigh of relief just yet though. There is that whole bro code, and family, well it depends how well brought up he is. A Nigerian friend of mine told me the story of how he met and married his first wife, a Caucasian lady who fell in love with him and he fell in love with her passport. The family attended his (registry office) wedding, they even had a couple of kids. Then one day his mum and his “cousin” came to visit him. Obviously the lady did not understand the language and so did not know that the “cousin” was actually his wife in Nigeria. Hadn’t done the white wedding but he had done all the traditional stuff, and well I believe his wedded wife found out the day she came home early from work and found them in bed together. Chances are he will introduce you to a selective few friends and family who will cover for him.

4. Does he lie, or things are just not adding up. A liar is a liar, and if they are capable of lying, they are capable of cheating, and if they are capable of cheating they are capable of stealing. Yes we all tell little white lies, but when it is all the time, and the lies also change every time he/she tells the story, ask yourself, is he going to be honest once we are married?

5. Did he call you every day then all of a suddenly it decreases, does he want to be with his friends all the time. In my experience, when someone wants to be with you, they will find the time, when they don’t, they will call you a nag.

6. Do your friends and family like you or do they think that he is using you? It’s good to ask the opinions of those close to you because when they say love is blind it is an understatement. It is also deaf and very dumb too. You know those in your circle that have your back, and they wouldn’t want someone to hurt you. If you are having doubts, they probably saw it months ago.

7. Does he make wild promises and shower you with gifts? Those promises are probably just that, promises, but if they ever come to pass, well I doubt it. You may be thinking to yourself, but he paid for my ticket to see him, or he bought me these gifts so if he asks for help, I must assist. Wrong, he has bought you those things knowing that you are going to refund the money back one way or another.

Well in the event that you reading this thinks that I am just a sour black woman who is bitter because of a failed relationship(s), I say go ahead. You think he/she is your portion, go for it. However, think of the following while you are on the love journey and see how your partner reacts.

1. Discuss the possibility of you moving to Ghana. He has probably said that he has no intention of going to the States or maybe he may want to go to further his education. If it is the latter, it is not going to happen overnight as there are papers to file and a wedding to plan. So suggest taking time out to live here and see what he says.

2. Insist on getting married in his country and in a church. Also make him do all the traditional trimmings. In Ghana a marriage is a union of two families and the guy is supposed to step up and say I have the means to take care of my wife, so he does the knocking and the traditional wedding (which is now called the engagement). In addition, we claim to be a religious nation (Christian or Muslim). Therefore as a church going “Christian” he would believe that a marriage is not a marriage unless it is blessed by God. I also suggest the pre-marriage counselling also. If it is real love, he would want to do what makes you happy on that big day.

3. Don’t send any money. If you are going to get married, if you are going to be starting a life together, you need to be saving money and not sending it by Western Union. You have your own account, you know how to save, not until he actually puts that ring on that finger will you be anything other than two individuals with a promise that hasn’t come to pass.

The last point, well that goes to anyone who meets a person online, or otherwise, until you are 100% that this person is genuine, treat everyone you meet with caution especially on this side of the world. You may find that your partner is genuinely hard up, but if a family member is constantly sick he/she is probably playing you. In addition, if he/she is waiting for an investment to come through (usually a very large sum of money), then he he’s in the type of profession that can cover his arse until that deal comes through.
In any event, I wish you all the best, ultimately those of us with clear consciences are looking for the same thing, I hope that you find it.

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The Ewe Connection

I have been to my father’s home town frequent enough that I know my way around. I can take a VIP from Accra to Kumasi and get off at the Shell roundabout at Ejisu. I know where to get the taxi and it costs 70p between the taxi station and my uncle’s house. I know how to get my dad’s house, but I don’t usually go there unless he is in town. I have also been there frequent enough that my cousins and aunt are comfortable to hit me for some cash.
I have a regular spot that I frequent where I usually bump into an “Ashanti Bogga”, these are guys who have lived in UK, US or Germany and have come back (9 times out of 10 by deportation) and obviously the sign on my head that says “foreigner” attracts them to me where they tell me tales of their life abroad. To be fair I am probably the only female who has ever frequented this particular spot so they know I am a foreigner. I know the best hotels to stay in if you are in town for the weekend, I know where the market is and the only decent pharmacy in the area. I have been there so many times that I can count it as my home town.

On the other hand, I don’t know my mother’s hometown, heck she doesn’t know it. The first time she went there was when my grandmother died and the second time was over the weekend when her auntie was buried.

My mother’s hometown is in the Volta region a town called Adidome. It is about 2 hours out of Accra, across the Tema motorway and you take a left once you cross the bridge to Sogakope. I knew this already because I had been to Sogakope a few times and saw it on the sign board, however it was my first time to the area.

The Voltarians (known as the Ewe’s) are a much more peaceful bunch than the other half of my bloodline. When you get to the Ashanti Region you can just feel the hustle and bustle of the people as they go about their day, the Volta Region felt very calm especially as you entered deep into the villages. The local language spoken there is Ewe, a language that my mother never got to grips with and so she was just as much a stranger than I was.
My mother’s side of the family are very fair, in fact some of them are almost white, their tone is only distinguished by the type of work they do. The ones that do manual jobs are a bit darker but that is due to the fact they are working under the hot sun.

Where my dad is from, it is quite close to the main town of Kumasi, so a lot of the returnees and people who want to settle in Kumasi have built houses over the years, my mum’s hometown, not so much. Her cousin did build a nice sizeable house for which we had the reception after the burial but I think it will take a while before it becomes a “modern” town. There are a lot of old houses which are crumbling where maintenance, well I don’t think it was maintained after it was built. Every road however, has a street name so they have benefited greatly from our current president’s street naming exercise.

What I do love about the place is that there is lots of green. Lots of trees and lots of space, how nice it would be if the government or the rich folk from the area did something like, I don’t know put up a park. I hear that in places where there is lots of green you are likely to live longer, which may be true, there was another lady being buried that weekend and she lived to 127.

Unfortunately like with most village life, there are a lot of people just doing nothing, waiting for a funeral so they can get a free bottle of beer and a bit of food, maybe a bit of cash if they help out with the formalities.
The Volta Region is known for their sea food, prawns, tilapia, oysters, crab and tuna. I was so tired on the way home (it was a round trip) that I didn’t stop to buy anything. However, my aunt made a beautiful Tilapia soup with prawns with very hot pepper which I could have taken the whole pot. She also made okra stew with Tuna, crab and oysters, and well I have to say, she even overtakes my mum on the cooking front. With oysters, there is a very fine line between overcooked and rubbery or undercooked and Delhi belly (a running stomach). These were perfect, so if you need any tips on how to cook them in okra stew, I will send her round for a fee..haha

It was nice catching up with my mum’s side of the family, apart from her two sisters, I don’t really see that side of the family. The last time I saw my cousin before this event, he was a new born, today he is 23 years old. Where did the time go?

I don’t visit the Volta Region, in fact apart from Akosombo I rarely visit that side of Ghana at all. It is quite calming and peaceful and an great place to go to, to escape the city. I think that there is a lot more potential for a few more resorts. So if you are thinking of investing in the Ghanaian tourism, a little food for thought.

If you are a stranger to the land, I would go with an Ewe person, this is Africa after all. Plus things may get lost in translation. Apparently at my Grandmother’s funeral, my mother said that she would give some drinks to the locals. They took offence to being called a local and had it not been for the intervention of my aunt who does speak the language, she may have got herself in a bit of trouble.

So that’s a very brief overview of my hometown seen through the eyes of a first timer. All the old ladies have gone so I am not sure we will be gathering there again, but I don’t think it will be my last visit, I hope to travel there one day soon, if only just keep close to my roots.

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Safety First

In Africa it is common for people to live under tight security. Some houses you visit are more like a fortress than a place of abode. You will have a house surrounded by a large wall and an equally large gate. The gate is locked with a large padlock. When you go inside, even more security, in my two bedroom house, I have a security door at the front entrance and one at the back. My front windows have a sliding security bar which is locked at all times. The back windows have louvers so are accompanied by metal bars which are designed so that it would take a thief a day to break through them.

Other households have bars which go across the doors at night, trap doors at the back, extra security doors and a whole bunch of locks and padlocks to ensure that they don’t wake up in the middle of the night to find that their household contents have not “walked away” in the middle of the night. However, sometimes I think we Africans pay too much attention to keeping people in but not enough on how to get out in case of emergencies.
As you know the dumsor has started again. A schedule was finally sent out a couple of weeks ago, however, I don’t know what rhyme or reason went into it. We were told in accordance with your group, it would be 12 hours off and 24 hours on. From what I can see, it just goes off randomly at leisure and the schedule was just put out to keep people from complaining. This on-off will obviously affect electricity and ultimately could cause a fire. So what does one do when you live in a house which requires a thousand set of different keys before you can get out onto the porch.

A colleague of mine experienced this recently, we were told that the fire was caused by a candle, while he told us that it was due to electrics, either way it was caused with intent or inadvertently by the dumsor. Apparently it started out in the kids room and they managed to get out in time to get to their parents room to raise the alarm. They ran to the front door and when they got there, after taking the bars off the door, they had the second door to contend with. Luckily they managed to get out in time but just about their whole lives went up in flames.
The second thing we don’t seem to think about is insurance. Especially those who are renting, I had to take out insurance (very expensive insurance which I have to pay in USD) but I wonder how many people willingly take out this piece of paper. Everyone does it for their car, is it that they think that the house and anything in it, is indestructible, or is it that (for those renting), they think that because it is not their property that they shouldn’t bother.

We can at times be more reactive than proactive, so in case you hadn’t thought of it, here’s some food for thought. When you go home at night, think about how in case of emergency you can let yourself out of the house quickly while ensuring that it is not so insecure that you let unwanted things in.
Secondly, buy fire proof doors, at least if the worst event were to happen and it starts in one room, it will not spread so quickly to the rest of your house.

Thirdly, fire detector alarms. In the western world it is more or less compulsory, here, even if it were, there would probably be nobody to check up on it. I have to admit, I am an offender, but especially in a large house, putting a smoke alarm in key points could save your life.

We are told to a fire extinguisher in the car, I have one in the house too. I don’t know how to use it, but I am sure if anything were to happen I would figure it out. They are not too costly, and I assume it is easy to use, if you do have one, make sure that it hasn’t expired (otherwise it defeats the whole purpose in having one).
Lastly, insurance, get the whole works, theft, fire, damage whatever you can insure against, I suggest you do so, because prevention is better than cure. Even if the house is not yours, the content will be and you really can’t leave your life in the hands of a landlord.

Remember, safety first, and ensure to turn off the switches and unplug the electrical equipment before you leave for work and before you go to bed. For those of us who do not have the luxury of a generator should also ensure that all lights are out and no naked flames are left exposed. As the saying goes, it is better to be safe than sorry.

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Return of the dum-sor; this time it’s personal!

In three years, life will begin again for me according to the laws of ageing. It will also be 60 years since Ghana gained independence. I have only been here for 6 of those years but it feels like the days behind me are much better than those ahead of me.

Dum-sor (off-on) has returned with a vengeance. For the past three nights I have resigned myself to the fact that I will go home to no light and no food so I need to eat heavily throughout the day. On Wednesday it went off in my area at 6pm and returned at 11pm. The second night 6pm and returned at 6am (it was fun having my cold shower in the dark). I got home after 6pm yesterday and thought surely it can’t be three days in a row. Well it was, at 6.41 as I got to the house, light off again, returning at midnight. Then just to add insult to injury, it went off at 7.30am, well on the plus side, I should be expecting light this evening.

The reason for this power crisis is because the Nigerians who provide us with our gas supply are on strike due to labour issues. The power plant which is expected to ensure that we have consistent supply is 99.7% ready and only the good Lord knows when that 0.3% will arrive. So the country is plunged into darkness, we don’t know when it will happen as the schedule is not ready so we just wait in hope that at least we have a few hours of electricity and our houses don’t burn down due to an electrical fault. 500 megawatts has had to be shed, they are having to buy very expensive crude oil and well to the rest of us, we are paying electricity for no light.

What I don’t understand is why we rely on a country that doesn’t have a stable generation supply. Why electricity which is an integral basic amenity, yet there is no plan B, we either get it or we don’t and when we don’t it comes with a load of excuses to boot. This issue is the same issue that we have been facing for the past 2 years; the government has been in post for 6 years now, time to stop blaming the failings of the previous government and start finding solutions and fast.

The British colony left the country 57 years ago, they gave us nice roads, a good infrastructure, running water and electricity, Ghana said thank you, we can take it from here, but then from what I can see, she went to sleep. Then she woke up, the place had expanded and she has been running around like a headless chicken trying to catch up ever since.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to tell you that the population will increase, that technology is growing, that industries are broadening, so why sit on your arse and wait until the last minute to make sure that you do your part to ensure that the country adapts too.

They say it’s going to get a lot worse before it gets better and the government has asked the country to make sacrifices, if I was opposition, now would be the right time to get their shit together and come up with their manifesto. However, this is Africa, they have their own issues.

In one corner there is Nana Addo-Akuffo Ado. The current flagbearer, he has tried twice and failed twice to get the presidency. To be fair, the first time was after an 8 year rule under the NPP. It was so close during the first round that we went to the polls again, and even at that the NDC came in with a very close margin. The second time, again very close, but as I predicted, President Mills died a few months prior to elections after a long illness and they got the sympathy vote, it was a case of give him a chance to do something. More fool the 5 point something million who decide that. Nana held various positions during the NPP tenure including Attorney-General and foreign minister.

In the other corner is Alan Kweremanting, a business man, please don’t ask me what he does throughout the 4 years but from what I see, he pops up every 4 years to contest the elections. I can’t really say much about him except that he has been out a while. However, he has a good following and hopefully on October 18th 2014 we will find out who will be the NPP flag-bearer.

There was a further 5 others who contested for the position (an improvement to 2008 where 17 in total were gunning for the position).

Unfortunately as with anything that involves black folk, there has been a lot of mudslinging. Not from the contestants themselves but from their foot soldiers and followers. I just pray that once they vote for the flag-bearer they will all band behind the aspirant and strategise a strong vision for the future of this country.
In the meantime, those of us who have a choice are thinking of, or have already dropped off this sinking ship. Even my Nigerian friends have gone back home, well I guess you might as well be treated poorly by your own than someone else.

For those who don’t have the choice, they are riding the storm and praying for better days.
The national anthem has probably not meant more than it ever has right now. God bless our homeland Ghana!.

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A letter to Shanikua

I fell on my face last week. I literally fell flat on my face, I don’t know what happened but my head I missed a step and ended up face first on the concrete. It took two days before I was able to open my eye but miraculously after a little over a week, apart from a scar, I am pretty ok.

It is at times like this that you put things into perspective, petty squabbles seem insignificant because you think to yourself, I could have hit my head and not woken up. Then bitch I was arguing with the day before would still be a bitch but the argument would have ceased, the arsehole who dumped me would still be an arsehole but life goes on with or without me in it so I can only make sure that while I am still breathing I am making the most out of my life.hen bitch I was arguing with the day before would still be a bitch but the argument would have ceased, the arsehole who dumped me would still be an arsehole but life goes on with or without me in it so I can only make sure that while I am still breathing I am making the most out of my life.

I got a phone call the next day, well I got a few calls actually, mostly from well wishers. Then I got one of those phone calls where I wished I never even picked up. It was from the ex. Somehow me falling on my face had to have had something to do with him in Nana’s world. “I said move on, then you go and get drunk and fall over, is that the kind of life you want to live”. No Nigga, I missed my step and fell over, could have happened whether I had a few glasses of wine or not. I fell into a gutter once and was stone cold sober. But really don’t know what that had to do with him, I told him that I had heard and goodbye. I didn’t really need to waste any more energy that day on him, I had an bruised eye to take care of.

They say time is a great healer, and it is true for my face, a week later and almost back to my beauty except for a bit of scarring. My heart, well that’s another matter. I am over him, that happened 24 hours after we ended, but I am still kicking myself that I got suckered in the way I did. Then just when I am done and not a thought in my head about him, something triggers that dreadful feeling all over again.

The latest, I found out while seeing a friend in the area. My ex is quite popular in town, mainly through self promotion actually wholly through self promotion. He brags to anyone with an ear about what he is doing and how much money he intends to earn (I say intends because he never seems to have a dime in that moment). It turns out that these friends were talking about his latest nuptials. I stayed pretty quiet throughout the whole conversation but you could have punched me in the stomach when I heard the story.

In December, he is planning to marry an African American lady by the name of Shanika. An African American lady that he met via facebook. Apparently she had been dating his cousin but the relationship ended when he moved to New York and married his sweetheart. Swoop in Nana, they started talking late last year (while we were going through our “issues”). In July of this year, he brought her down to Ghana (he bought a ticket on credit) an went down on bended knee with an engagement (probably my frigging promise ring….haha). They will be married in a court house either here or over there and live happily ever after.

Honestly, if he were genuine I would be happy for them. They could get married and he would move out of Ghana and I could hang out with my friends without ever having to bump into him. However, he got a bit annoyed that the money she had brought over to do her shopping was not spent on him and since she got back he is expecting some dollars. I heard that she should be sending $100 anytime now if he hadn’t already.

He has also told his little girlfriend (who lives in Ghana) that someone has agreed to a fake marriage so that he can go to school in the States. I wonder if he can even spell book, or read a book, but who am I to judge.

As I said, if he is genuine, I wish him the best of luck, but if he isn’t, I honestly hope that Karma bites him very hard on his arse.

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