Some things change and some things stay the same

My usual rant is on the subject of romance, politics, water, electricity and the basic ignorance of a lot of my people, with a sideline in good places to hang out. I’m back and I’m not going to change the format.

My friend Christiana O’Connor has written a book, you can find it on Amazon Kimble and it is called “Playing the Race Card (A chip on my shoulder)”. It basically tells her story as a child of Caribbean decent living in Britain. About racism of yesterday and depicts how it still exists today.

I’m half way through reading it and it has actually inspired me to write this blog today after a gazillion months of absence. My story is somewhat similar but the racism I mainly encounter is from my own people.
I remember when I was at school and I had gone to the shop to buy some sweets. The shop was run by an Asian family, as most corner shops in England are. A white youth had, had an issue with the owner and they got into a tet a tet over something for which I can’t remember the details now. He storms out of the place but not before verbally abusing the owner with a tirade of racist venom spewing out of his mouth. You’re a f*&*ing, P*ki, you black baboon. After he stormed out, the Asian man looks at me for a sympathetic response. He then starts on about how he came to make a better life for himself, and look at me a hard working studious person (I was a frequent visitor to his establishment and he knew my mother who of course liked to boast about how well her children were doing at school), although we are the minority in this country at least we are not blaming others for our failures. We (as the minority in England) had a long way to go still. I smiled and left.

A few years later, in contrast to the above, my white colleague at university was having a gripe. There were a lot of Asian students where we studied, and they would be huddled up in the student lounge speaking to each other in their language and then laughing very loudly. His issue was the fact that even though they were born here, they lived in a community which was no different to ‘where they came from’. That they don’t even try and mix in with the rest of society. He said to me that I was ok, I was as British as he was, I guess that the implication was that I had somehow past this secret test that White English people give to the minorities.

A few years before I left for Ghana, around the bi-election time, a UK Independence Party candidate came knocking on my door. There manifesto was built around stamping out Immigration. We were alright though, because we were born in England, are parents had successfully integrated into the British culture and this was not about getting rid of those of us who had been here for donkey’s years and were working law-abiding citizens, but those who were a drain on the society, having 10 kids and living of the state, as an aside, he also implied that the Asian community was becoming a burden on Society, why, b because they were taking over the country. Building businesses and only employing their own. ‘Soon, we will all be speaking f***ing Bengali’ he says.

Since 9-11, the situation has become worse. It used to be the norm for a black man to get stopped and searched by the police, now it is the Asian community. Why, because the view is that every Asian is a Muslim and as such a suspected terrorist. Yep, in England, the same theory that all black folk look the same has extended to those from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh etc..

In England, growing up, and even now, racism still exists, it is not as overt as it used to be, but it still exists. In addition, somehow those of us who have managed to integrate into society, who don’t rock the boat, who speak the Queen’s English, who dress appropriate and who go out to work in a ‘British’ establishment, are ok. The Asian community however, are still on the outs, even though a curry has actually overtaken Fish and Chips as the great National dish, they Asians don’t seem to mix up as we the blacks, the majority don’t have friends out outside of their community, they work and play together. They speak their own language. To make matters worse, a lot of work has been outsourced to India. Why? To cut costs. That doesn’t sit well with the average English man, not only have jobs been taken but you know have to speak to someone ‘who doesn’t even know what you’re saying innit’.

The blacks have moved up from the bottom of the pyramid to the second from last step, but the Asians, well they are still bottom of the heap.

Now I am not saying it is right. I’m not saying it’s true. Just showing you the world through my eyes, how I’ve seen it and how I’ve experienced it.

Now I’m not saying now, that because of the above, I am superior to the Asian race, every race has their good and their bad in my opinion. However, when I see my people kiss ass because they feel that they too are ‘obroni’, it makes me mad. The other day I was speaking to my Nigerian colleague Olu. We are expecting a General Manager for Sales and Marketing and I hear that it will be a Ghanaian man from one of the other FMCG multinationals. Olu’s response to that was that if he shouted him down, he would not put up with it. So I asked, not that it is right to shout anyone down, but you take it from the boss (an Indian). He says, he would rather be shouted down by an Indian than a Ghanaian. I thought about getting into a debate with him, but I have realised not to argue with ignorance, as it is a complete waste of time.
The boss, Sharad, is an evil tyrant. He has no people skills, no leadership skills and no vision. He doesn’t criticize but rather hurls abuse. He is very fond of using the words – nonsense, illogical, and crap. Too be honest, the way in which he works is more like a market trader you would find in Green Street or E Street Market, there is no planning, in his view you just have to sell.

If he calls you into the office, then you should be prepared to be de-motivated for the rest of the day. He gets away with it because 1. He’s ‘obroni’ and 2. People have just given him the tag that, that’s how he is. When you come out with a suggestion, the first thing he will do is shout you down. He will then come up with the very same idea a few days later, as if it was his own. In the whole company, there are two people that ever stand up to him, that is me and another colleague (who is probably the only other person who has worked in a multinational). The others just cower and say ‘yes sir’.
I thought it was because he was the boss that people acted this way at first, but I realized that, just like the white man, Ghanaians treat well just about every one (apart from their own) like they are Gods. I went to meet a customer the other day and she was telling me about a deal she had struck with the Obroni, the one that looks like a black American. Didn’t know what she was on about until I realized that she was speaking about my darker skinned Indian colleague.
When I entered this new job, on the organogram, I and the Regional Sales Managers and Business Controllers all report to the Business Head. It is very clear, however as the Business Controllers are Indians and as such ‘Obroni’, they are treated as they are actually our bosses. When they need information, it is given to them in seconds. When I ask for information, I have to issue 5 reminders and 10 questions later, before I get what I actually asked for. As I said I am not saying I am superior, I am not saying they are superior but it is getting very tiresome to see my people bow down when they see the Indians coming rather than afford each individual with the same respect.

What I don’t understand and will never understand, is a race who I have experienced the same problems, who have the same issues in their country that I have in mine (or worse), who have been subjected the same type of racisms. Just like my family, I have some here in my country of origin, and those who live abroad. Just like my country was made ‘civilized’ by the British, so where they. What exactly are they bringing to the table that we are reaching out to them as if they came down with mana from heaven. Why is it that because they are in Africa as opposed to Europe acting as if they are rather superior, and my people are supporting this myth. Why are we at the bottom of the pyramid in our own country?

Now, on the issue of expats (non-Ghanaians/Obroni), I am all for expatriates coming to Ghana, and bringing on new skills which will develop the people here. Education is still an issue here with approximately three quarters of the population illiterate or only are only up to basic education level. But this isn’t America or Europe, you can’t say that you are coming here for economic prosperity. You know you are coming here to do what the people can’t. So you have to be coming here for the right reasons.

What I don’t agree with is an expatriate think they are doing us a favour by being here. Yes you are passing on your skills and knowledge, but you are getting paid handsomely to do so. So do what you are getting paid to do, don’t just humour us for three years then go. A lot of the time my own people would say that an expatriate has been bought in because a local person cannot be trusted to do the job for fear of corruption. I don’t think that this is the case, I think the Obroni is just better at it than we are. There are lots of purchases of items which could easily be bought here or in Africa at a cheaper cost, but they are being bought in India, Lebanon, Egypt of France, simply because the Business Head is from their and will get a cut from the deal. I know many an expat who has managed to set up a business (either here, or back in their home land) during their three years term, and really their salaries may be big but not enough to be set up for life.

I also don’t agree with the colonial ideal that an expatriate (from wherever he comes from) being a new upgraded slave master. The plantation is now replaced with a multi-million dollar company and instead of being sold off forcefully, we are pimping ourselves out because we feel that the ‘obroni’ is entitled by virtue of the fact that he was not born or a descendant of these shores. I have two degrees and a frigging Masters (I’ve said it once, and I will say it again), I decided to come back to Ghana , not back in time.

Don’t patronize us either. There are actually a lot of qualified people here who can occupy many of the top positions held by so called ‘obroni’s’. Technically we may not have advanced, but in terms of business and running a business, we can stand alone. My uncle is the former National chairman of the previous government; he also runs a successful borehole business, my auntie owns one of the top Travel and Tours businesses in Ghana. A friend of mine has been named Marketing Man of the Year by CIMG. These are just some of the people I know, there are many more people out there with a wealth of experience out there who can perform just as well if not better than what we have right now.

Well anyway, I could go on for days, but alas I have a job to do and as I continue to pray for myself to keep on reaching to new heights, I continue to pray for my motherland, and her people.

Coconut Grove – Elmina

This weekend, I was in Elmina. It was our monthly Sales and Marketing Review (if you could call it that) and rather than have a 12 hour meeting in the stuffy office in Accra, we went to sit by the coast of Elmina which is about 20 minutes from Cape Coast. The only unfortunate thing was that 1. the meeting was extended for another 5 hours and 2. The extra 5 hours leaked into my Saturday. Which meant that as I had to wake up at an unholy hour on Saturday, my rest time was limited to a few hours on Sunday.

What can I say about Cocount Grove Hotel. It is one of the “top of the range” hotels, there are a chain of them in Elmina, Accra and somewhere in the Ashanti Region I think Obuasi. It is just a little way off Elmina quite close to the castle. It is truly a gettaway kind of place as you cannot walk to town, as it is a 5 – 10 minute drive away. The setting is beautiful, right next to coast of the Sea, the view from the hotel is picturesque. They have your standard single and double rooms, and family rooms. They also have little Chalet’s for the family or a group of people to share if you want that privacy. You can lounge by the pool or slog it out in the gym. I have to say, it was very calming sitting outside on Friday evening enjoying a glass of wine and beef khebabs to the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks. The food is quite nice, for dinner as it was late (and I had been snacking on the table food of pastry and cakes the whole day), I had the khebabs with panfriend vegetables. For lunch the following day I had the pepper steak with mashed potatoes which went down quite well.

However, and as with Ghana, there is always a BUT, as ususal the maintenance of this beautiful place is minus. I mean, like I don’t think much has been done to it since it was built somwhere in the 80s.

During one of the lunch breaks I went for a walk around the area. There were broken A-C boxes, dirty window frames, I mean there were cobwebs around the frame which were older than me. The walls needed painting, the beds needed revamping and don’t get me started on the Television. I thought my TV was bad but at least my excuse is that my flat screen got stolen. An aged old Samsung TV for which if it breaks down, I don’t think you could find the parts to fix it, to add insult to injury, it kept cutting out every two minutes. In my bathroom, the handles and pieces where on it’s last legs, all rusted with mildew around the edges, and what was at some point a white towel was now bodering on yellow.

What amazes me is that this is a hotel which charges in Dollars and is always buzzing with people. So really, what would it take to use some of that profit to refurbish the place. They even charged extra for a frigging Sausage at breakfast, so that alone could pay for a couple of towels.

I think of the two if I had a choice, although not greatly better, I prefer Elmina to Coconut Grove at least you get a free sausage with breakfast.

Anyway, not withstanding the fact that I sent a report to the boss based on other people’s information, crazy man wants to fire bullets in my direction so going to find cover somewhere.

Until the next time

W) y3 p3p3

Pronounced wu yeah pear-pear, it means you are chistle, hard fisted, stingy, you have the cash but you don’t want to spend it.

I’m about to re-visit the money tree myth.

As we move onto February I can say about 20 people have stepped up to me and brazenly asked me for money. As already mentioned, the security guards at my office, my estate, then there are the policemen looking to pay off their christmas debts, to add to it, a guy who directed me (by force) out of the car park and some random who I said hello to one merry night.

There’s this guy I know, a friend of a friend of a friend. If you go out with him, you will want for nothing. “Have a drink, it’s on me”. He will tell you. He will order a bottle of whisky on top and will even give you a packet of fags if you smoke. He doesn’t do cheap either. You will find him at Bella Roma, Tantra or the Lexington (formerly Champs bar). High end bars with West End prices. If you visit him today he has a 55″ TV, satellite and an i Phone 5 on charge.

However if you stay until the end of the night you will notice that the drinks that he has offered you are paid through by mouth. When the bill comes and everyone is looking for their small change, he is no where to be found.

I on the other hand live within my means yet have a bank debt, a car who when I switch on my A-C in my car the battery conks out and when the lights go out, well I just have to live with it. But I’m seen as a responsible girl with lots of cash to burn. Sorry, but if I had that money I would also have the 55″ TV and be clubbing on a Friday night. If I have a bit of change it is because I am saving up for a trip to London (bloody expensive, if you know where I could get a cheap flight let me know). I also need a bit for a rainy day, and I literally have enough for the day, if it rains for more than a day then I’m f@*(!’d.

I recall a conversation I had with an uncle. He said people would always hit him up for a loan. “I’m not a bank” he said, “and your money doesn’t last you, but I perform magic that it lasts me with a wife and 5 children”. My dad always used the excuse that he has to pay school fees (although we had free schooling and took a loan to get through university), he used that excuse until he went on retirement. Now he’s on retirement so he has the excuse that he is a pensioner.

I may not have kids. Call me p3p3 but my money is accounted for. After a month of working over 12 hour days I didn’t see you there working alongside me, in fact you were chilling with a pint of beer. So sorry if I cannot help you after you’ve squandered your money o fags, booze and girls but I have bills to pay and once every quarter I would actually like to go out for a nice meal and a glass of wine. If I had the money to loan, I would have painted my house or gone on a nice holiday or even got a generator and a big arse TV. Call me p3p3 when you wake up at dawn to get up and graft with me instead of sleeping until the afternoon and by noon you are drinking a cocktail. Yes I live alone but I don’t pay half the bills because I’m a single person, and if I look like I have cash, its because I try to live within my means.

When I have to give you’ll be the first to know, but until then I don’t need to hear your sob story, I have enough of my own.

Just needed to get that off my chest. Now off to bed, I have an early start in the morning. Unfortunately I’ve not been out for a while (ironically its because I have no cash), but hoping to try somewhere new come pay day (will keep you posted!)

No rest for the wicked..

Goodnight y’all

WARNING: Never open an account with Ecobank Ghana especially ACCRA MALL BRANCH

Yes, I should have changed banks many moons ago, but opening an account in any bank in Ghana is so cumbersome. I went to Fidelity Bank and asked what I needed to open an account there and they asked for about 20 passport pictures, someone who has an account there to write a letter to say that no you are not a money launderer but want a legitimate account, the lady at the bank read out the list of items required, but she lost me at passport pictures. So laziness kept me continuing transactions with what is probably the worst bank in Ghana.

So what have they done now. I go back in time to April. My bonus had arrived and so I transferred some money into my Ecobank sterling account and the same banks USD account. It was a bit above my normal transfer but I also had a bit of money to play with. I stupidly didn’t check the transaction, the main thing for me was that I had enough money to cover the mortgage and I only had an hours lunch break so was in a hurry to get back to the office.

Fast forward to January 2013. I get a call from Ernestina at the branch in Accra Mall. Apparently the teller managed to do the sterling transfer alright back in April, but instead of dividing by the rate she actually multiplied (hence they overpaid me), now I was indebted to them by the tune of 1,200GHS. How did they find this out, by an audit done in December. Yes, the idiots didn’t realise the mistake until 8 months later.

It’s January, after the christmas, I paid out a lot of money and have exactly 385GHS in my account which is to last me until the end of the month. Of course I was mad with rage that this mistake has been bought to my attention almost a year later. What more, there was no apology but accusations. First of all, they blamed me for not bringing the transaction to their attention. Now here’s the deal. I check the account days before I get paid to see my balance and had been putting in a bit more each month, so the following month when I was in credit I didn’t think much of it.

A guy called Daniel then accused me of “conniving with the teller”. Now really, my mortgage balance is in the region of $30k if I’m going to be so underhanded will I do so for a mere $2k.

After a round of insults I said I will come into the bank the following day to discuss. In my mind I had accepted my role in this whole mess for not checking and was going there in good faith to come up with a payment plan to get this mess resolved. I get there however and am met by the branch manager Tina. A burly woman, probably frustrated at home so likes to show her powers in the office. I am greeted again with no apology but a condescending lecture that even if the rate was 1:1 I should have known that I was overpaid. The bitch then implied that I knew that I was overpaid but chose to say nothing.

Now anyone that knows me knows that I believe in equity. If I even pay for a can of coke and you over pay me I would give back the money. I am just too honest. The fact that I am so honest is the reason I have basically started from the beginning in my career since I moved from London to Ghana. But I digress.

What annoyed me was when this Daniel fella tells me that if they had underpaid me, wouldn’t I expect my money back. The fact is, I wouldn’t expect my bank to make such a colossal mess in the freaking first place mate.

It ended with me saying I would pay the money back over a period (it took 8 months to realize the mistake, what’s a few more months to get the money back). Tina said she would have to speak to her superiors (still no apology).

Two days later and I didn’t here from the old witch so called back for an update. She was rather abrupt and as defensive as the day I went to the bank (have to add they kept me waiting 15 minutes while they whispered amongst each other before they called me in). She said she would get back to me. I said she should do that and I also wanted an apology for the inconvenience this has caused (if you don’t ask?). She said she would get back to me on that one also.

After she slammed the phone down (there was no goodbye). I dialled the complaints department. Had she been a bit humble admitted the mistake and come up with a reasonable solution, I would have probably let it go. But her attitude was, she didn’t care if I was in the red, her so purpose was to do this reversal and well basically she treated me like I was a criminal. Customer service at its best.

I got a call from Ecobank yesterday asking for more details and an apology. But now this has become personal. Efia v Tina. I want my apology.

As for me and Ecobank, well I’m just going to have to get those passport pictures and whatever else is needed because the sooner I stop doing business with them, the better.

Customer Service at its best!

Ghanaians in the workplace

Most days, I am at my most productive between 7am and 2pm so although it is a bitch to wake up at 4.40am I do it so that I can beat the traffic and work my but off for those 7 hours before I sit in my office and make calls, sit in the hr manager’s office and chat and walk around aimlessly around the factory until 4.30 when it’s time to pack up and go. Although my mind clocks off, I think I do better than most, my first example is Gladys. She is the girl I have been tasked to manage, and managing her is a job in itself. She exhausts me. I don’t want to think of her as lazy, I like to think she lacks direction but alas in my my battle to think the best of everyone, I think I am losing this war.

Before I unleash on Gladys I have to say there are some pretty cool people, there’s the HR manager who is lovely but then she lived in the UK for a while, she even went to my University. She is the perfect example to back my point that it is only people who have lived a substantial time outside of Ghana who can manage to walk and talk at the same time.

There’s the boss’ Personal Assistant, you have to remind her a few times to do something for you but she always has a smile and the warehouse guys who are more proactive than reactive. There is Gladys the receptionist who is very helpful and although I probably haven’t made any lifelong friends here, I can say that there are people who get me through the day.

Gladys is the sales controller. She takes the orders and sends out daily reports, which she basically extracts from the system onto an excel file and sends it out. That is basically her job. In our first meeting she whined and complained that the sales guys call her up and ask her questions which disrupt her from her daily task, I’m thinking chick, your job is to put data into a computer and press send, what else do you do.That is apart from a two hour lunch and surfing on facebook and making random calls. The sales guys had been complaing to me bitterly that when they call her up for answers she gets back to them either much later or never. My job was such to make her as well as the processes here more efficient. I can understand now why the few hard working Ghanaians prefer to do everything themselves.

On Friday I spent the whole day designing a template for her using the crap that she extracts which nobody bothers to read, plus some extra columns which may require her to pick up a phone (for which she is good at when she is chatting to friends) and find out the answers. I completed it up until Friday so all she had to do was continue from yesterday. I spent the morning on Monday going through exactly what I had done and all that was to be asked of her. Told her who she needs to speak to for what information. At 6pm however, no report. So I ask her this morning what happened. Now Gladys is one of those people who can find 1001 reasons why can’t be done. First of all, to copy and past information onto the excel sheet seems to be a bother for her. Secondly she sends her report out at 6, she says if the dispatch plan is not sent to her by 5, what should she do? Ask somebody chile, ask somebody. Then she asks if she should send the report out weekly. Why, I don’t know as I switched off from all the whining. All she has to do is add information to an already existing template which I had already started off. Everything I asked her to do she would give me a rebuffal statement telling me why it can’t be done. These are the kind of people who wonder why they get the minimal salary increment and when their bonus statement comes they cry. Sorry lovie but I don’t believe in getting something for nothing, little girl needs a serious attitude adjustment or this thing is not going to work out.

I move on now to Madam A, the marketing manager. Her first words to me were we are black, we are women, we are the only female managers (bar the HR manager), we need to stick together.

When I first joined R&C many years ago, my first meeting of P was a funny one. I remember we were all in the meeting room for something I can’t remember some kind of social breakfast bonding thing. P was talking about having to get a sitter for Hermoine. I remember looking at this stunning (black) woman a lawyer, wondering what kind of man left her to be a single parent. Two minutes later I rolled my eyes as I found out Hermoine was in fact her Siamese Cat. Then I wondered if I could ever be friends with a woman who on the face of it was lovely and well spoken but I thought she was a bit of a Bourgoise confused woman who thinks of an animal as her daughter (I am my mother’s daughter). The day I really thought of her as a friend was one day I was sitting in the office, the case workers were in open plan while the lawyers were in the office. P was going to the kitchen with her Cafeteirre and I was so down, the usual didn’t have much direction, not so friendly with my boss (now there’s a surprise) like I was in tears. P was the only person who noticed that I was not myself and took me out for a coffee and a chat. We have been the best of friends ever since. As for Hermoine, well that cat really is a human trapped in a cat’s body so not so confused, although I did have to remind her constantly when we frequented the local “everything for £1″ store that in fact the items WERE £1. Love her to bits though, a sister from another mother.

With E, it was instant. She had known P for a while, and we just clicked. For E a friend of P is her friend unless shown otherwise, and our love for a coffee and a B&H outside the local eatery cemented our friendship.

These two lovely ladies are lawyers, education wise we were on par (although I like to think I exceed having a gazillion degrees and a masters…lol) but status and monetarily speaking they were my bosses. But it wasn’t about being black (by best friend is a white lady called Bev), being a woman, being a manager, it was about women who had mutual respect for each other and loved each other like sisters.

Madam A, to me sounded a bit status driven (she used the words black, women, manager about 20 times in the course of her welcome to the company monologue) and too gossipy. We haven’t managed to hit it off unfortunately. The first thing being I have deactivated my facebook account so nothing in common there. I don’t have a fondness for celebrity blogs, I don’t spend endless amount of hours watching myself on my webcam during meetings and I think that working hours should be used for just that. Work (apart from the time spent doing this). I don’t go into her office for mindless gossip, I don’t speak about the person in front of me in twi so they don’t know I am discussing them. I greet her every morning, I ask how she is but there is not much up there for me to have a decent conversation. She’s nice alright but a bit of an airhead who will shift all the work onto you if you give her a chance. We exchanged pleasantaries up until 2nd January. My boss was in a very good mood after the meeting (surprised as nobody hit target, I think with wifey out of town he found a way to relieve some stress the night before) and was gushing my praises. Told the group that I came with a wealth of experience in demand and supply planning and was even a brand manager for a short while so if anyone needed advise on any of these areas they should speak to me. I don’t think she liked the thought that somebody other than her knew anything about market (and quite a bit more than her by the looks of things), she didn’t even say goodbye that night and on the rare occasions when she comes into the office, she passes by my office without even a wave. When I do manage to catch her eye, she does that thing where you pretend you didn’t see someone and do the fake hello thing. I do same with an equally fake smile.

So on to Reuben. Health and Safety. My orientation with him took all of 5 minutes. Considering I work in the factory I was expecting a bit more than that but he handed me a leaflet and sent me on my way. There are so many health and safety violations here, only God knows what he does. Yesterday I asked one of the cleaners to wash my car. Apparently it is forbidden (although I have seen many people’s cars get washed in the carpark). Reuben took it upon himself to take the car away from the cleaner – Steven, Steven and rightly so said that I was the one who gave him charge of the car so he cannot handover the keys. What did Reuben do, sack the boy. This got me mad, first of all, it was me who asked this boy to wash the car and secondly, nobody (not even my boss who I narrated the story to this morning) knew this was a law. So there was me with HR and Reuben having it out, wasting time in my day, in the end the boy came back and Reuben got in a mood because he’s authority had been undermined. This is a perfect example of someone with too much time on his hands. It is little wonder that his boss is looking to move him to an area where he can do no harm and find someone who can actually do the job.

So to the sales guys, there’s Mubarak, short and sweet, your typical sales man who thinks he’s a loverboy. There’s one in every sales department. Sammy, the nice guy again one in every department. Then there’s Olu who I mentioned. He’s still not talking to me following the presentation incident. It is a bit of a blessing actually because he was getting a bit too familiar and calling my phone every day. Then there are the Asian boys Weeky and Arya. Weeky is cool if you need anything he is willing to help but Arya. Arya is lazy as f***. I dread having to do anything in his region as he always tries to palm me off to someone else. I ask him for information and he will give me an hour long lecture and he still hasn’t answered my question. To me he’s a sap who is enjoying the expatriate benefits while the local staff are busting their arse’s off. He is a two steps off me showing him up for the little boy he is. Apparently he has a new girl working in his team, they have never met. Who does that!!! Fortunately he has a good team but his sales figures show him up for the arse he is. For the past two months the Accra Region has been under performing, like big time, like who under performs in Accra, it’s the region with the most people and the most commercial, only a sap like Arya. But what do you expect from a guy who wakes up at 2 goes to one customer then goes back home to a whisky and coke after a long days work (?). I really hope that they send him home soon.

Least I forget, Gabby. Mr Know-it-all. Nice guy but something about him that makes me distrustful of him. He is the QA manager and as we work in the factory it is quite an important position. But yet another one who thinks he knows it all and doesn’t listen, he is also one who doesn’t feel the need to get his hands dirty when he needs to. I have one person reporting to me (and not so useful either) so I have no choice but to get my hands dirty once in a while). He on the other hand, as a side nice guy but can be frustrating at times. For example all products need to have a code generated for it. Which means someone needs to input something somewhere in the computer and somebody else will do something and a code is generated. He is part of this process and has to approve something in the system, I was trying to explain this to him but he didn’t want to hear me though, apparently things happen by magic in his world. That’s when I new that he is one of those people who I will get on great with, if I don’t ask him for anything, so I send Gladys (I think she has a soft spot for him).

Well I have gone on for over 2,000 words and need to get going, got processes to design and Glady’s arse to kick (she really is exhausting).

My first month…

So I have been a month in my new job, this morning we had our management meeting and as usual it lasted the whole day. Thirteen hours later and I have finally got to the comfort of my settee watching re-runs of Big Bang Theory and while I am incredibly hungry I haven’t got the will to go and fix myself something to eat.

Before I start I should update you following yesterdays blog. My boss came into my office and told me I didn’t need to present afterall. I am so grateful because I had left my drawer key in my draw and the key to the drawer in my house (only me). The boss thought that having missed his flight yesterday, Olu would have come to work today and by the time he realized he got a flight to Nigeria this morning, he had made up his mind that they would go over his sales figures would be reviewed on his return. Thank God.

This leads me to talk about my boss. What can I say. The man is totally schizophrenic. What he will think one day is not necessarily what he will think the next. Sometimes he can be the nicest guy in the world, other times he can be a complete a-hole. To be honest, I think he wakes up one day and depending on which side of the bed he woke up on is how he will react to the people around him.

I was employed on the basis that I would be a demand and supply manager. I would forecast the demand based on the sales figures, we agree a final number then I would work with production and procurement to get the finished goods out to the customer. So I thought.

In my first week he asked me to streamline the sales and marketing review process. The following day he told me to go out into the field to understand how the market works. So I arrange with the sales manager for Accra to go out. The sales manager being an expat (Indian man) with little respect for his fellow black man (although where I come from are all immigrants but here in Ghana is treated like a semi-God) tells me to meet up with his sales officer. Now where I have worked the sales guys have always been equipped with a car and there has always been transport available. Apparently this company’s policy is to give you a car loan but if you have to leave the premises for any reason (even for work related activities), then its a matter of find your way.

So anyway, my friend the British guy said he would lend me his car and driver to go out and about in Accra, my friend is one of the executive management so didn’t see the problem. Well my boss did. Even though I got in the office that day at 7am he berated me for “hanging around” and said he was going to tell British guy to revoke his offer. It turned into a big argument but when I realised that the boss just liked hearing the sound of his own voice I shut up, went to the security gate and waited for the car, and left when the driver arrived. It seems what he didn’t want to know wouldn’t hurt him. I left that day and didn’t come back for two weeks. I travelled to the Accra market, and the rest of the regions, however although I came back home sooner than expected, I stayed at home a few days before Christmas. He didn’t want to see my face until after the xmas holiday, so he got his wish.

I returned on New Years Eve, we had a meeting and I pointed out that I didn’t appreciate how he spoke to me. That’s when he explained that if he let me take the car, he would have to do for all managers and a lot of blah, blah, blah. But he would allow me to take a taxi and be reimbursed (like which taxi driver gives out receipts in this country). I didn’t bother to pursue the matter, in future I will not tell him when the situation arises again. But then he tells me to find out ways I should bring value to the job, he wouldn’t tell me, I should think of it myself and get back to him.

This morning, he was as sweet as apple pie. I bought up the areas where I think I add value to the management meeting and he narrowed it down to three. Basically, all the ideas I had come up with earlier on had suddenly become relevant, plus I can add Customer Service Manager, Supply Chain Manager, Sales admin manager and general go-to Manager to my portfolio. Well I cannot say much, it will all add value to my CV and when the time comes for me to move to the oil business (my penultimate goal) or start running my own consultancy firm (my ultimate goal) its not going to hurt.

So that’s my boss. I’ll fill you in on the rest of my colleagues but I’ll save it for another day. I’m absolutely shattered and it’s time for bed now.

Until the next time…

African work ethic

I was speaking to one of my bosses the other day. He said that Africans see time as circular whereas we who are from the Western world or have lived there for a significant period of time see it as linear, thus Africans treat time like there is no end and so they take the piss.

I am annoyed today. I should have been enjoying the new year and making new years resolutions but instead I am waiting on an email for which I need to analyse the data and present tomorrow morning. The person who was supposed to send it to me promised me I would receive it in the morning. It is now almost 9 and I am still waiting. I don’t think this person will send it now until tomorrow purely because I sent an email to the boss saying I am still waiting on the information, so he is obviously mad at me for telling tales. He will not see it as he failed to meet his obligations and that this is a total disrespect to me. He will go around saying that I went to send a message to the boss that I have not received the data.

He will then tell people to be cautious of me rather than think that had he not been a selfish ass and sent the data when he was supposed to I wouldn’t have had to go to the boss.

This person is called Olu. A nigerian who has been expatriated to Ghana to work as a sales manager. During the first few weeks of me starting at the new place I had to go round the different regions in Ghana to see how they sell and he seemed like a nice person. Over the christmas period as he was home alone I hung out with him once and he spent the christmas at mine as I had already invited my friend Lew and her daughter. I don’t know from this if he thinks we are best buddies but I think he is getting somewhat familiar. In England, normally when you are friends with your colleague they are more likely to go the extra mile when you need something. From my experience in Africa it is the other way.

I remember when I used to work with my best friend P. One day she was really under the cosh and I had been in her office chatting for a while. She told me off that day basically telling me she had work to do so I should push off (she did say it much nicer than that though), I couldn’t be mad at her afterall we were friends but this was work and there is a time for everything and I respect her for setting that boundary. Even though I have a mouth on me, I am not usually so straight up. A lady in my office who I have gelled with (probably the only person who has a serious worth ethic but I will talk about my colleagues in depth another time) came to my office. Because it was during the christmas period the office was a bit relaxed but I had a report to do. I ended up coming home to work because she could have talked all day had I stayed there. I should have told her to get out but I just let her go on.

But I digress. Olu is on leave. He was supposed to travel to Europe but his visa was denied but his boss had given him a few days off so at least he could have a little break while he re-submits his visa application. My boss said that I could present on his behalf (thanks). So then he tells me he can’t give it to me today (being yesterday) but will send it this morning. I don’t know if I was supposed to chase him but if after a text message and a skype message I still don’t get what I need, I email the boss so I don’t get shouted at in the meeting tomorrow.

So he (Olu) calls me to say “I’ve heard that you were looking for me I am quite surprised”, I ask for the email and he replies “there’s more to life than the job”. Now my boss, he likes the sound of his own voice and has slammed every idea I have come up with for this new role and has basically told me to come up with a way to add value and that if by the end of my probation period he doesn’t see the benefit of me it is likely the position will be scrapped. Coming to a meeting unprepared (which I certainly will be now as I will see the damned email at best 5 minutes before the meeting) or without one at all is really going to make me look good. So I raised the alarm first, its not about arse covering its about protecting my image. If he thinks that because we are “friends” I will take a bullet for him then sorry that protection is for my family and my friends who are basically like family, not for someone who purposely antagonises the one holding the loaded gun!

But I will not let this put a dampener on my new year. It’s even given me my first resolution, that is not to let anyone take the piss.