In the book of Psalms, there are two types of prayers. The hallelujah, praise the lord for all he has done. Then there is the other one where the flesh is weak, enemies are surrounding and even friends are not around. I am feeling the latter at the moment. I have friends that I have to talk to, but with a car that has decided that it is about to give up the ghost, I can’t even afford to take a taxi to go and see them, so I am being held prisoner in my house.
I have though got DSTv to the end of the month. I have been watching a lot of the housewives programmes, Atlanta, New Jersey, New York, OC, the basketballers, the hip-hop, the preachers. You name them, I watch them. In a few minutes I am going to watch NeNe get ready for her upcoming nuptials. Am I bored of it, hell yes, but for reasons I will talk about later, they are all the friends I have got right now.
I do however wonder about the husbands, it must take a certain level of love to look past all their crazy antics, brawls and general girly bitchiness, but these men do. They stand by their women. Which is why I am writing this article in response to my experience with guys in Ghana.
In the past couple of years especially, discounting the guys that were just not worth my time, I can’t even get one guy that can look past my imperfections, some of these women in the course of many seasons have got one, two sometimes three. Even NeNe divorced her husband and remarried him with him giving an apology.
I spend my time, trying to be the perfect girl. I try not to be too clingy, yet I try to give a certain amount of attention. I try to be understanding of their needs, I try not to make my problems theirs. Then what happens, the halo slips, one incident (or maybe a few) and I get a lecture on how to conduct myself, and advice for “future relationships”.
The insecure in me does a self-analysis every day of my life, so I don’t need anyone to help lower the self-esteem. The confident in me though thinks that these guys from day dot, are just looking for a reason to say “aha, that’s it, that’s why she’s not the one”. I am a big girl, saying “I am just not that into you” really will not hurt. Ok, well it will hurt just a little bit but I will get over it. I think it will hurt a darn less than a detailed analysis ripping my character apart.
I am not talking about a particular one guy, they all seem to go down the same line in any event. Most of the time, it’s like a feeling, and I try and get it out of them, they say, “we’re fine”, but still can sense it, then one day I snap. Then it’s like “oh, there she goes, that’s the reason”. It happens every time, and especially in the last two years. Must be something in the air or something.
So, while you are do the analysis guys, I want you to think about this. Maybe, just maybe, the halo slipped because I was trying to be perfect rather than letting you see the real me from day dot and could have saved us all the heartache. But this is the story of my life. I will get over it and move on like I usually do.
So I leave you guys to ponder over this one especially. If you are just not that into a girl, or if you just don’t want to go there, we are ok just being friends. We don’t need to be analysed, and we do get it when you are just not that into us.
In one of the housewives a show, the tag line is, “you never know how strong you are until you have to be” or something like that. My time in Ghana, especially with the relationships I have had.